Quid Pro Quo - On Swearing and Compromises

Hello.

As we speak, I am writing this while watching Christmas Story with dear friends and family, not altogether happy with having been approached with this issue during a very inconvenient time for me.  I have already stated that today is kind of a day off for me, as it should be for most of you.

The fact that I accidentally left my Steam account open is admittedly my fault, and the fact that I feel compelled to say something about it now (rather than say tomorrow or Thursday) is also my fault for being too dedicated to our community.  Even so, I beg you next time to show me some consideration, especially since I've often done the same for many of you.

What is the issue brought to my attention?  Swearing.  And not as a widespread problem, but simply as an issue between two moderators, which doesn't actually make it a problem of swearing, so much as a clash of personalities which is a bit more understandable.

For the uninitiated, the current pool of moderators on Big Sister were not selected by me, but were carried over ("inherited", if you will) from Gunia's Main Server, and as such encompass the values and selection criteria from that server.  Over time I expect Big Sister to have its own moderator selection criteria, including a useful guide to assist Moderators with their day-to-day activities. But that being said, it should be clear that not all the moderators currently in our roster fit the emerging minimum requirements for moderatorship [especially when it comes to communication]. 

However, not everything is about following rules to a fault -- and even for moderators I personally would not have chosen on my own, I am still willing to help them out and give them an opportunity to grow and learn.  This is pure and simple compromise, an integral part of teamwork where "give and take" is more efficient and fair than simply dictating rules in a way that encourages them to be broken.  Given their unique circumstances, I expect all our moderators, old and new, to be willing to work with and compromise with each other's disparate personalities.

The following, therefore, are guidelines on how moderators can approach the current issue involved in a fair and responsible manner....

Based on observation of player habits and my own open sensibilities, I won't support an outright ban on the practice of swearing (nor for that matter any other red-topic items such as violence, vorephelia, or politics).  I will of course urge their use responsibly and in moderation, especially due to the prevalence of very young players on our server.  For those preferring an objective measure of "moderation", a 3-strike rule within a 5 minute period prior to pointing out a breach of etiquette should be sufficient.  People, especially moderators, opting to flaunt this rule can rightfully be disciplined for abusing this privilege.

However, as part of the give-and-take, forcing users to relinquish their right to even limited free speech, due solely to personal sensibilities, is neither fair nor responsible, and can be interpreted as an act of selfishness.  This is even worse coming from moderators who must deal with individuals of different ages and personalities, and shouldn't impose their own values onto others, especially onto the server.  If you cannot deal with these issues as a matter of sensibilities, age, culture or religion, chances are you may not be moderator-grade -- but if you still wish to prove otherwise, we can certainly help discuss ways for you to talk about, cope with, or, if necessary, circumvent the issue.

Just as an example, I do not make it a habit to swear because I find it a personally-degrading and  uneducated practice that conveys a lack of creativity -- but even so, I will not deny others the freedom to express themselves thusly if that's their only means to communicate.  Instead, I rely leading by example, in the hope that I can inspire swearers to gradually and naturally relinquish the habit, and in effect learn to better themselves through their own efforts.

Which leads me to the unaddressed issue of problem resolution, especially among moderators.

If there is an argument amongst yourselves, please do your utmost to take it out of the public channels.  Your primary job is to maintain the peace on the server, and turning the Global channel into a verbal WWF wrestling match is both degrading to yourselves as moderators, and to me as an owner who has to be called in to police you both.  

And finally, be mindful that respect is earned, not owed.  Contrary to public belief, being a moderator does not immediately command respect -- its being a good moderator that accomplishes that.  A good moderator can be young and mature, or old and irreverent.  A good moderator can be meek as a lamb or swear up a storm on occasion.  A good moderator is more than likely a very big communicator (especially big with me).  A good moderator will not be afraid to admit they're wrong and apologize, what I personally see as a high-level sign of maturity.  But for sure, a good moderator will make an effort to understand (and work with) his or her fellows as best as he or she can, even if it means accepting some things you may not like (such as patience or humility).  To compromise is not necessarily an easy task, but the rewards can be immense.

And that should about cover my thoughts on the matter.  If you have any questions, you can write them below as a comment.  I hope this has been an informative and useful read for you.

Thank you, and Merry Christmas!